Daily Fishing and Outdoor Report
I know this might be tough to compute but just imagine that I found your town attractive for some reason. I come there with some friends, park in front of your house, maybe camp out nearby – and I kinda make a royal mess. It comes with the territory – someone else’s, that is. And then I coyly expect you to pay for the cleanup.
What’s more, I like your place so much I’ve decided to come down every single day -- for months and months on end. A mess-a-day, as it were. Also, I’ve decided to invite everyone I know to your area; and they’re going to invite everyone they know.
Now, by the thousands of thousands, we swarm your place and even though we’re kinda careful, there are so frickin’ many of us we now routinely make a totally insane mess – by the minute. Astoundingly, we expect that mess to be fully cleaned up every day and – once again – we expect you to pay the entire cleanup cost, every single penny. And we better not find so much as a dirty baby diaper when we awake in the morning or someone is going to hear about it.
But there’s way more.
So we thousands can feel all safe and comfy in your area, we want you to hire guards, hundreds and hundreds of them. We want them out there every single day, protecting our kids, watching over us, damn-it. And, yes, we fully expect you to pay for every cent of that, too. We couldn’t care less how much it is. Hell, we’re not paying for it.
Oh, another thing: a bunch of our older kids might be parting at night and leaving trash and beer bottles all over the place, so we demand that their mess gets cleaned up before sunrise. Naturally, you can pay for that, too, dude.
Oh, lest we forget, since there’ll be so very many of us using your area, you really need to expand your police force – and definitely pick up the bill. Safety first, you know. And, yes, cops are very expensive but we spare no cost when someone else is paying it.
But, let’s stop here and now -- just to realize this IS NOT about Long Beach Island. Remember, this is about what would happen if this befell you -- in your hometown. You’re suddenly expected to pay upwards of a million dollars a summer out of your tax pocket to cover cleaning up after me and my friends?! You’d go totally f****** ballistic! You’d storm town hall and take no prisoners. Yet that’s what you’re suggesting we should do. WTF!?
AFTERTHOUGHT: We’re trying our hardest to get things back to normal here. And we are not the millionaires that allegedly swarm all over LBI. We are the majority of Island locals who, like much of the world, are barely making ends meet. Now, virtually all of us have damn-near insurmountable debts because of Sandy. To even suggest saddling us with the costs of cleaning up after tourists and summerites this year is actually sorta sick.