"Oh, crap! Did the treat get ruined!? Quick, look for it!" 

 "I'm straight, dude!"   …

"Don't you try to mess with my pathetic deprived child look!" 

Wednesday, September 27, 2017: Well, the surf is rockin’ and rollin’. Maria is sending powerful calling cards – powerful enough to eat away at some already over-eaten beaches.

I tried to reach the Rip at Holgate but the slowly dropping high tide…

(Above: Weeks Marine does wetlands/marshlands restoration work.) 

Tuesday, September 26, 2017: It’s finally official: Double Creek dredging will begin this fall. (See full press release down below. Mariners, please read. )

The…

Below: On Similar paths ...

Another way to cruise LBI beaches ... I think it's legal. …

"Screw that passive-web crap."

Realizing their over-three-hundred-pound racing swim team might not have been such a good idea, Big Al decided to test the rules a bit ... 

Have a sanderling look: 

Yesterday:…

This week's "Why you shouldn't let uncles babysit." 

Of course, aunts aren't much better ... 

Below: Yet another soul who doesn't get the concept of "Run!" …

Below: Oh, sure, it was his fault. Dumbass tennis players.

Below: Cameraman be thinkin': "Hell, no. ... Not on what I get paid." 

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Uh, but why?...

Rainy day, synchronized contentment ... 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017: Thar she blows. Make that, there he blows. And Jose blew this day clean off the map, which was no skin off my back since I was deeply stuck at work for a 12-hour shift.…

Martin Truex Jr. rallies, wins NASCAR Playoffs opener at Chicagoland

Sunday, September 17, 2017: Well, the busy time of my year is over … now things get really busy.

From sunrise to sunset I’m on the mullet trail. To no avail, to date. More on their absence in my weekly column.

As to guessing why the mullet aren’t…

Words cannot adequately describe ...   

These looters were somehow noticed by police in Florida ... If they had only painted it with camouflage colors. 

Thursday, September 14, 2017: Feeling mighty summerish out there. And…

You pick up your cup of juice and right before you take a sip ... 

September 13, 2017: As expected, the waves just keep coming. It does make it tough to surfcast, though roughed up conditions could be a gamefish draw starting very soon. Baitfish are already in the system, adding to the near-beach attraction for blues, bass and whatever.…

Below: This could easily pass as a hoarder's home ... worthy of  TV show intervention. "Sir, you have to realzie you have a hoarding problem. We love you and we're here to help clean up this mess."

These rooms belonged to Pablo Picasso. The estimated value of the mess seen here has been "likely underestimated" to be a quarter-billion dollars. What's more, it's believed just such a cleanup was done. Many pieces in these…

No need for a starting gun. She wins on coolness alone ... 

Below: This week's "What the hell did you expect, numbnuts?!" 

Sunday, September 10, 2017: Irma is upon us – “us” being the mainland USA, covered by a…

Below: This evacuee offers a persuasive reason why he should be allowed to butt into line ... 

One of the less common dangers presented by coastal flooding. That's gonna cost some points ...

Friday, September 08, 2017: Regarding the American premiere of Hurricane Irma, it remains a maddening waiting game for not…

Here I only assumed this was inappropriate in the workplace. 

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Screw the nuts. Squirrel suddenly gets a hankerin' for                                                            …

Tuesday, September 05, 2017: Here’s where I get to shed the better-them-than-us selfishness and openly worry for the folks about to be clobbered – maybe close to annihilated – by Catty-5 Irma.

Here’s hoping the mountains of the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and – last resort – Cuba knock Irma down to a more survivable size -- though Irma seems to be steering slightly north of those…

Why it's sometime good to let aunts babysit ... 

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Bedridden boomers be like ... 

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If looks could ... hell, I'm…

This is having a real good day ... by falling backwards. 

When he wants to get to his best friend ... 

Thus, Billy's hatred of gators begins ... 

Saturday, September…