Further below is a chunk of my weekly column. I excluded parts that are repeats from this website.
I’m also including (first) a read from a weather aficionado, forwarded to me. It’s more or less hypes the storm potential for this coming weekend. In fact, his forecast should have us all but running for cover. HOWEVER, this email is also an example of the way weather folks have fun with the skies, offering each other some of the more tangent forecasts potentials.
I see just where this forecaster is coming from, historically speaking. I have also noticed that seldom do storms act identically, even when born in the same place. Many elements need to align over the next three days for the storm of the millennium to strike. But, hey, when the year 3000 arrives, there will, in deed, have been a “storm of the millennium.”
This is one of my crazy weather guys I check out.....here is his updated
model for this coming weekend!!! Let's hope it hits and we can have some
fun in the snow.
Won't be good for the LBI beachfront though!!!
Here you go:
>I mentioned this morning before all of the 12pm models came out and I still
> sticking with my idea. This storm has increase now for a few straight
> I have seen 12+ and now I am starting to see 1 to 2 feet to as much as 30
> inches in DC in Rob's blog moments ago.
> This is why I feel that Feb 2003 won't be able to hold a stick to this
> We, Philly Metro, will be in the convergence zone....the incredible sweet
> spot on this storm. I am becoming more and more sure of this storm
> the 1996 Superstorm. Remember, that storm dumped 4 feet in Whiteshoe, WV,
> 30 plus in Philly and other places up and down. I continue to say this is
> bigger that the Feb 2003 storm because this storm is going to stall just
> off the DE/NJ coast. The aeffect of this is going to dump 2 to 4 inches of
> heavy snow an hour for a few hours. We will have thunder snow in many
> places. The influence of the Atlantic and READY TO RUMBLE Gulf moisture on
> an already saturated large Elnino west coast storm is going to be massive.
> I don't think the models right now are able to handle the size of this
> storm coming. In all honesty, it's going to be like a Cat 1 to low Cat 2
> off the coast of the Mid-Atlantic. This is a ferociuos storm that has very
> ingridient sitting there to be mixed up and cooked.
> I keep hearing of the rain chances inland. There isn't a chance in hell of
> this happening. The size of this storm is going to produce so much of its
> own col air that only the beaches and maybe 15 to 20 miles inland might
> but they are going to get pounded as well. The current water temps off the
> coast are cold. VERY COLD. It is reading anywhere from 33 to 36 degrees
> from LBI to Cape May. This is great stuff. This is also why I don't
> the mix will happen. We have a perfect 50/50 setup. This is what we hope
> and dream of happening every winter. They don't happen often. The December
> 19th storm wasn't like this. This is the MIller storm all of the Pro-Mets
> and very knowledgeable amatuers on hear talk about. I said that I was
> to post my numbers tomorrow at Noon but I feel compelled to do it now
> because of the consistent nature and increasing potential. Can we please
> throw potential out of the equation now??? That word is dead because this
> storm is not about potential......it's coming.
> Here are my predictions based on the info coming in, the set-ups and
> ingridients needed and compared to other historical storms. This WILL
> the 1996 Suprstorm. I am naming this storm now so let's all use this name
> for future reference and even now before the storm comes- The 2010
> PHILADELPHIA METRO 28" to 33"---3 feet will happen in places
> WASHINGTON DC 20" to 26"
> BALTIMORE MD 24" to 30"
> WILMINGTON DE 25" to 30"
> ALLENTOWN 6" to 10"
> READING 6" to 10"
> LANCASTER 5"-8"
> TRENTON 22" to 26
> A.C. METRO 16" to 22"
> I know a lot of people are going to dispute this and not agree. That's
> fine. I do believe based on everything, positioning, el-nino, gulf waiting
> to be tapped, high in a perfect spot, negative NAO, 50/50 setup.......it's
> going to happen and the downplaying of this is something we would be
> bashing the TV Met's about. This is a monster and with these types of
> storms, deadly. Let's hope the deadly part stays away. I look forward to
> many comments but before bashing.......compare true evidence with 1996.
> It's there and bigger than the Feb 2003 and Dec 19, 2009. This could be
> biggest ever in Philly. Certainly no less than number 2.
> Have a great day everyone.
SIDEBAR: As I was leaving the courthouse after failing jury duty, I got a morose chuckle when I overheard a despondish fellow talking about a severe judgment he had just suffered through. “I knew I was in trouble when the judge said “I need to make an example of you.’” This young fellow was telling his girlfriend.
Boy, did I relate. Throughout my entire life, I’ve been bitten by that most dreaded of statements. It began way back in grammar school, when those exact words would issue forth from the dreaded continence of one Mr. Funkly, principal and top-dog terrifier of small school children, namely me.
Funkly was a just-retired marine who actually wore black combat boots and could be heard throughout the entire school as he marched, often angrily, down the halls, all too often stopping at my classroom to yell in, “Mann, get out here on the double, soldier!”
At 11-something, I was a long was from soldiering but I hopped to with every ounce of semper fi I had garnered to that particular growth point in life.
That was back in the day when corporal punishment in schools was only beginning to come into the crosshairs of public opinion, so Mr. Funkly would often grab me by the nape -- my neck little more than flashlight-sized in his monstrous grip -- and literally haul me down the seemingly mile-long hallway to his office. Though I would go through the motion of walking, my feet would only touch the linoleum floor maybe every fifth step or so.
During my all-too-frequent haul-ins to the principal’s office, we’d pass a slew of other classrooms on the way. It got to be something of an acceptable class disruption when I was a-drag, as other kiddies would drop what they were doing and instantly swarm to doorways to look out and giggle at the my predicament — more than a few of my former teachers also rubbernecking to chuckle at the action. Funkly loved the hell out of the awed attention he garnered. When he’d reach his office door, he would swing around and glare back down the hall, scaring dozens of heads back inside the classrooms. I could all but hear his satisfaction saluting itself.
Funkly must have had some previous war wound that led to his forgetting that the last time – and every time – I was in that office, he menacingly concluded with, “I’m gonna make an example of you this time, soldier.”
I recall one still-talked-about “roof-diving” incident that garnered an emphatic Funkly, “We're going to have to make an example of you so other children don't dare try this.”
I remember standing there indiscernibly shaking my still-sore head in disbelief. I internally questioned how many other kids were eagerly waiting in line to emulate my attempt to jump from the roof of our single-story school and onto an outstretched swing, held aloft by Carl Marriott -- who was supposed to release the swing as I came flying through the air at it. I had every intention of grabbing the swing, Tarzan-like, swinging forward and upward before jumping off, to then soar through the air and land perfectly on the end of a see-saw, where little Richey Hemming sat on the other end, eagerly waiting to be jettisoned upward and into a nearby sandbox.
It all seemed so damn doable to me at the time. Tweren’t. I missed the swing and hit Carl full force with my knee, knocking his front teeth out and leading to his enraged parents wanting me suspended from school until I was old enough to be sent to Vietnam.
To this day, I marvel over the fact that Funkly never once asked, “What were you thinking!?” as virtually everyone else repeatedly asked, including my parents and shocked relatives. I had this odd feeling Funkly was more upset that I had failed to execute my mission properly.
My various Funkly punishments varied from the sublime (for me) “Take a chair and go sit out in the ball field for two hours, where everyone can see you suffer,” to the really ridiculous, “Hit the floor and gimme 50,” as in pushups.
Back then, my arms were about the size of anemic sting beans. I’d do maybe three pushups in a row before my arms began no quiver uncontrollably at the elbows and this S-shaped vein on my forehead would rise up in protest. I’d collapse at, maybe, “4.” Funkly would then get right in my ear and hiss (I kid you not) “You’re weak and hopeless. What are you, a maggot or a man?”
Truth be told, I didn’t give a rat’s ass that I was weak, hopeless or even a maggot, I just wanted to go back into the frickin’ field, where I could sit and daydream by looking over at the grazing cows in Old Man Mellon’s nearby pastures. But Funkly would harass me until I actually pieced together 50 push-ups. Fascinatingly, in later decades, I could easily out pushup just about anybody I came across. Just as oddly, I was legitimately and totally heartbroken when Funkly was fired for annihilating a father he saw slap one of his students in the face. I was the only student he came to say good-bye to.
Bitter irony: Mr. Funkly served 90 days in jail for his assault, after the judge told him, you guessed it, “I have to make an example of you.” I have to think that Funkly thought of me at that point and despite the sentence got a little inside chuckle.
‘POTS’ RATTLING AGAIN: The Pots Off the Reefs campaign is back in session.
The protracted push to keep commercialites off Jersey’s angler-sponsored manmade reefs was back in Trenton this week and made it’s usual splash in the Senate Environment and Energy Committee, where it was successfully and unanimously reported out of that committee – for the third time in as many efforts (in recent years).
The committee’s vote came in the face of a heavy angler presence in the room and vivid testimony from the likes of the Recreational Fishing Alliance and the father of the state’s artificial reef system, retired marine scientist Bill Figley of Stafford.
The proposed legislation will scoot ahead in the senate realm then sit idly around as an assembly Agriculture and Natural Resources Committee ponder the same language the senate committee considered.
If successfully reported out of the assembly committee, the bill will move into the far more perilous waters of the senate and assembly, where it has essentially floundered within the abyss known as the Trenton legislative process. However, even getting out of assembly committee has proven an obstacle in the past. Also, after once making it out of assembly committee, it was ignobly tabled by the full assembly. The reason for that faltering is obscure but surely pressure from the commercial fishing community had more than a little to do with it.
For now, it is imperative that all interested anglers keep the pressure on the politicos, as all the folks currently involved have promised to do. The thing is, new names and organizations need to arise as the issue heats up in the Legislature – and naysayers roil the waters. The best bet for now is to stay heavily informed about goings on in Trenton, via fishing club or through the Web. I’ll also try to stay up on things via http://jaymanntoday.ning.com/
PETA ATTACKS PUNXSUTAWNAY: I now firmly believe that the higher ups at PETA are perpetually getting stoned out of their gourds, then, at the heights of their hallucinations — and amid cotton candy-like hazes -- conjure up the next issue for their perpetually angst-filled organization, now commonly referred to as Psychotics for an Ethical Treatment of Animals.
With the arrival of Ground Hog Day, PETA demanded that a robotic facsimile be used to replace the famed ground hog, Punxsutawnay Phil. PETA believes the amiable ground mammal, which has lead as pampered a life as any creature out there, should not be harassed for his annual February close-up. They determined this despite never once consulting Phil, who could have easily been reached -- prior to Ground Hog Day -- at his winter château in Barbados.
A robotic Phil? Can you imagine the reaction of children attending Ground Hog Day, as they rush in hoping to see the cuddly Punxsutawnay Phil nosing out of his hole only to be greeted by this metallic robotic creature, emerging with smoky sparklers sticking from its ears and red demonic eyes flashing wildly?
“Ugh! That thing ate Phil!”
“It’s coming after me!”
“Mommy, I need more Ritalin. Hurry!”
And just think about poor Punxsutawnay Phil, as he readies for his beloved fans, looks up the tunnel and in utter horror sees the wagging metal tail of a maniacal mechanical monster. Talk about animal cruelty. Hell, the famed Phil will most likely grab his “Caddy Shack” DVDs, his Cuban cigars and permanently move to the Caribbean.
Lest you think I’m making this up, here’s the PETA statement regarding Phil: "Tradition is no excuse for cruelty … Make the compassionate decision to use an animatronics Phil and retire the live groundhogs who are used for Groundhog Day activities to a sanctuary."
FLEA MARKET ALERT: Darren Dorris and the Fishing RAMS at Southern Regional are finalizing things for this year’s Fishing Flea Market.
The always-popular event will be held Feb. 20, from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. at its usual venue over at the Southern Middle School cafeteria.
It’s $4 to get in and all profits go to the fishing club’s field trips, including a yearly headboat outing.
There may also be room if you’re a seller. Check with Darren at either (609)242-1058, or, firstname.lastname@example.org.