One small example of why not to use unlicensed tree-removal companies ...
Moms know how important it is to keep their kids hydrated ...
Tuesday, August 01, 2017: We’re into a smooth-sailing wind phase, kinda odd for summer when we usually have brisk to honking prevailing southerlies. The winds will hold a south tilt but with low vigor, especially in the a.m. This is fine news for our charter and headboat captains, many of whom are cashing in on hot fluking areas.
Also headed our way is clean water, as in, acrylic clear. Did you know that Plexiglass and Lucite can be buffed to be clearer than glass? I learned that during my saltwater aquarium days.
I got word there are, in fact, snapper blues aplenty down on the bayside of BL. There are bulkheads and street end you can fish thereabouts. Bobber fishing works just fine, per those catching the little blues. Of import, those baby blues make one of the finest fluke baits known to man. For anglers fishing the BL public bulkhead, you can nab some snappers and immediately throw them out for serious fluke.
Above, you saw the JCAA event – and that $50,000 doormat. We’ve all seen that our waters can produce a fish large enough to win that. Get signed up, ASAP.
The BL public bulkhead for fishing is seen adjacent to the condos.
Below is a sample from this week's SP column, soon to be up at https://thesandpaper.villagesoup.com:
... Which brings us to Uber and Ubering. Yes, it does. Just go with the flow.
Despite my media job, I only recently found out what Uber is even about. Sure, I heard the word and concept being bandied about, sometimes in front-page style. Still, I idly figured it was just some business guy’s name, one you called when you needed a ride. But when people openly chuckled at my naïve notion, it got me to researching.
Well, lo and behold, it turns out I was right as rain. It really is a name. So, there. Of course, the Uber name of which I speak has nothing to do with the Uber. But, there are a goodly number of Ubers in NJ.
I can all but hear you thinking like me: How dang much fun would it be to randomly call them and ask in a shaky, real-old-man’s voice, “So, how much would you charge to take me, my 18-year-old girlfriend, and my schnauzer, Heir Otto, over to church Bingo?”
Hey, I didn’t name them Uber. If they can’t take a joke …
Knowing my luck, I’d ring up a Santini Uber, who happens to be a made-man with a nearby crime syndicate. His particular Uber name is a prison-shorted form of Uberini, of the notorious Sicilian Uberinis. Yep, the supposed olive oil importers.
Curse you, caller ID! How do you say, “I was just kidding” in mob-speak?
“Yo, Sonny. It’s me again. How’s it hangin’? How’s the family? Whoa, I don’t mean the family family, I mean the wife and kids family!”
Fuhgeddaboudit. I’m screwed.
On that subject, I’m sure our clever mobsters will move in on the Uber drive-about racket, using their black sedans to pick up folks. I can hear it now: “That’ll be $14.50 for the ride to the Acme … and twenty bucks more for the Johnny 'Bags' Memorial Fund.”
And Johnny “Bags” isn’t even dead … yet.
Believe me, you don’t want to get word the boys are Ubering a memorial fund for you. And if you do: “Hello, Uber? This is Johnny ‘Bags.’ How much to drive me to Tierra del Fuego? … Oh, Santino. Sorry, wrong Uber.”
Well, that shoots Tierra del Fuego, now don’t it, Johnny? Dumb ass.
But I egregiously digress.
I have it on excellent authority that Ubering is alive and well on LBI.
Not that I’d choose Uber over our hardworking LBI taxi services, but, the whole Uber thing makes me wonder if LBI is ready for a four-wheel drive Uberification.
Ponder this, entrepreneurial thinker. What if an angler needs an Uberesque Holgate drop-off for, say, a $20 spot? Talk on, right? Let’s hypothetically say I whisk Uber customers and equipment down to the Rip, then turn-and-burn, to pick up more Uberers at the parking lot. Cha-ching. Just maybe, drive them down to the Rip for a pittance … then soak the hell out of them to bring them back – with the tide rising real fast. Not that I’d ever do that, mind-you.
Oh, there you go, asking about needing a NJ excise tax form. Uh, call my Uber rep. Besides, who’s to know that I’m Ubering if all parties involved use Uber codes? I foresee this common email: Jay, I’ll be needing help transporting another bottle of eel milk this weekend. In fact, with Lou and Sal, that will bring it to three able-bodied bottles of eel milk that needs transportation (wink-wink, nod-nod.) If you can deliver at $7.30 (a.m.) and come for the empties at $3.00 (p.m.), we can Pay that Pal of ours just like last time. Sam.”
Well, you certainly fooled ’em that time, Sam.
By the by, I’m not totally unserious about seriously Ubering to the Rip from the parking lot, once Holgate opens. Just my luck, LBT will zip on out and buy a 4WD shuttle bus.
Anyone want an Uber license, unused?
Improved fishing today with a boat limit plus of fluke and sea bass. Looks like great conditions and fishing for the JCAA fluke tournament on 8/5. Sign up at www.jcaa.org
for a chance to win $50,000 in our doormat fluke category.